Achievement and Fulfillment

I believe the major miss in leadership today is what the commonly held view of success and achievement looks like and what it feels like. This fault is due in part to how we teach and demonstrate success to children and young adults all the way through college. This idea is one that pays little or no mind to the idea of fulfillment, which is why there are so many successful leaders that feel empty. They have climbed the mountain and gotten to the top, only to realize that there is no prize. Or even worse, they are not at the top and they are staring down another mountain to climb. This sight begets feelings of emptiness, frustration, anger, and sadness and it’s because they missed out on the most important part of their journey towards achievement. Up until the past two years, I was falling victim to this mindset. I was looking up and climbing as fast as I could, and then one day realized (with the help of others) that no matter how fast I climbed, how hard I worked, and what I accomplished, I would never summit the mountain of achievement because there is no summit.

There is a major shift that needs to occur in how not just leaders, but how everyone views success and achievement. That it cannot be truly achieved without fulfillment, and not fulfillment because you achieved something, but true fulfillment in the emotional sense that I believe is best manifested as the feelings of joy through looking forward to each and every day. Whether you’re going to work or spending time with family and friends, or even just having quiet time by yourself, you are truly excited and look forward to the day each and every morning. That is not to say you won’t have days or parts of days that you do not look forward to, where you will have to do things that you would rather not or are uncomfortable with, but most of what you do, you should look forward to doing. Even if something is hard or uncomfortable, so long as you’re doing something you care about and believe in, you will still find fulfillment here.

I would even go so far as to argue that a fulfilled life with little achievement or success is a better example of a life well lived, as opposed to a life with massive amounts of accomplishments and no fulfillment. I would encourage you to chase a fulfilled life, as someone who aims to have a fulfilled life will come much closer to a life well lived that is also full of achievement than someone who aims for achievement first. But that also has to be a choice, it is not something that happens by chance. It will require you to be purposeful in your choices and decisions, tough decisions, such as do I work late and miss time with my family? Do I take the time to remain connected with my close friends? As well as creating self-awareness around questions that inform these decisions, specifically, what do you care about and how do you spend your time in such a way that demonstrates what you care about?

I have often spoken with my teams about this concept of finding where the intersection of achievement and fulfillment occurs, and where that intersection occurs is where lightning will strike. I want my teams to be successful, but more importantly, I want them to feel fulfilled not just in the work they do, but in their life as a whole. My experience has shown that someone who enjoys a fulfilled and complete life will find success quicker, and more often than someone who does not. For you as a leader, this means two things. If you are feeling a great sense of accomplishment, but feel as though something is missing or you don’t for the most part look forward to each day, then I would encourage you to spend some time in self-reflection and identify what really matters to you. Or, consider the following question, “What would you want your family, friends, and coworkers to say about you at your funeral?”

The second question, while morbid, cuts to the point of how you want to live your life, and provides you a lens through which you can evaluate what changes you can and should make. As a leader, the second thing you can do is work with your teams to help them do the same. However, I would caution you to not help others find this intersection until you have done it yourself. While there is no process, a guide who knows the way will make this transformation attainable for their team.

Additionally, it’s important to realize that the idea of fulfillment is quite ambiguous. You can’t see it, you can’t touch it, but nevertheless, it is very much real. For this reason, there is no linear objective process you can use to find it. In fact, chasing fulfillment is nearly impossible, and the sheer fact of chasing it is something I would expect of a high achiever. Fulfillment happens, it’s not something you achieve. And it will only happen when how you spend your time is aligned with the things you care about, things that matter to you, and the things that create joy in your life. So don’t chase fulfillment, because in time, fulfillment will find you and if you’re like me, a high achiever, when fulfillment finds you, lightning will strike.