The desire to strive for perfection will be both a blessing and curse. In the words of Sheryl Sandberg, “Done is better than Perfect.” Speaking from my personal experience, I was once a perfectionist. While it served me well through life, I learned a very hard lesson as I started my first business, that perfection has a price. I believe that most high achievers are high achievers because of an innate drive to want to be the best or to be perfect, which was instilled from a young age by their parents, teachers, and coaches and through their journey in the education system, more on that later. This drive, this idea, this wantingness to be the best, to make sure our work is perfect, is something that has plagued me in recent years. While it served me well up to a certain point, I had a revelation one night while working late, and it was profound enough to alter my entire view on work and it is now something I practice and teach with vigor.
While these profound paradigm shifts occur throughout life based on experience and the earning of wisdom, they nevertheless are challenging to grapple with. Imagine if you will, a self identity that is wrapped up in striving for perfection, wanting to be the best and enjoying success because of it. You cannot one day wake up and say “this is not who I am”, because to do so, would mean not just a change in perspective, but a realignment of your identity. For anyone who has been forced to change who they are in their own eyes, it can be a difficult experience, one that understandably most people shy away from. Perfection, you see, is a never ending cycle that feeds itself; you work harder than everyone to be the best, you produce the best work, and as a result are rewarded for it, which only further feeds the desire to aim for perfection. While getting on the ride of perfection is hard, getting off the ride is even harder. This is especially true for young leaders who may have not had the opportunity yet of acquiring wisdom through hard knocks in their life. To help spare you some hard knocks, I want to share an idea that will challenge how you lead and what you can accomplish, while helping you find the intersection of achievement and fulfillment.
To understand where perfection comes from and how we make this shift in ourselves, we need to first understand the genesis for the desire of perfection and furthermore, where achievement comes from. Perfection was ingrained in us since we were born. Think back to your years in primary and secondary school, the goal was always perfect. I would guess that most, if not all of us, have never had a teacher or a coach walk us through the concept of good vs perfect while also explaining that the time investment required for perfection might not be worth it. I can’t help but wonder if the way achievement is framed during our many formative years in school ends up being a massive disservice to every child as they transition to the workforce.
We spend 12-20 years of being taught to aim for perfection and yet wonder why we strive for it now in our professional lives when good enough will do. We don’t even consciously think about it, we don’t purposely try and aim for perfection, it is our default mindset. I can’t tell you how many times, even today after all of the unlearning I have gone through, that I catch myself falling victim to this mindset. It has been ingrained in us, it’s part of our identity and we will never be successful in separating ourselves from this way of thinking without taking purposeful action towards change. The mindset around this change we will walk through in the coming sections, and it will help make rational sense of why we should make this change. I have laid it out this way, because the strongest argument for making this change has to be grounded in the same logic from which this part of your identity was built. If you’re open to seeing how striving for good enough can make you more productive, effective and produce a greater sense of fulfillment, I invite you to walk through this series with me.