Virtues are not black and white. There will be conflict that arises within your organization, as well as your personal life. The question is, “how do you resolve that conflict and reduce any potentially grey areas to mitigate future challenges?”
We all must find meaning in how we live out what we believe and find where the divergence and convergence of our beliefs meet. Sometimes, living in our virtues means that we let others down. While this may be hard, we need to contend with the expectations that we have set for ourselves and reconcile them around what we believe. We need to give those that we feel we have let down an explanation and translate the meaning behind our decisions to give them our Why. Doing so will help us on our own journey to reconcile the grey area without feeling like we are not living in and through what we believe.
I was faced with conflict recently in which I knew a hard decision had to be made to part ways with a long-time company executive in order for myself, as well as our company, to truly live through our virtues. Although tough from both a professional and personal standpoint, I knew that how I chose to resolve this conflict would deeply impact our company culture. It’s in these times where our virtues are tested that our decisions tell the world and our employees that we as a company mean what we say. These decisions were nothing less than the tangible manifestation of what we believe. They were and are the proverbial rubber of where our virtues meet the road.
Being purposeful and open around choosing to live through our virtues will at times cause this friction. In an ideal world, all of what we believe both personally and as a company can coexist in a harmonious fashion, with no friction or outliers. However, this ideal world is not reality, and therefore in the same way we chose to be purposeful in how our actions reflect our virtues we too must also be decisive in how these conflicts are resolved because the way in which they are resolved quietly speaks volumes as to what we stand for.
One measure of a leader that is most visible to others is not in the voice they give their expectations, but what they silently chose to tolerate. In my desire to share both meaning and understanding I would like to explain the very conflict that I spoke of earlier and how this conflict was reflected in both my actions and decisions. People First and Servant Leadership, two of our company’s virtues that guide our actions and words could be no more aligned. However, if you dig a little deeper there is a dichotomy. One that only becomes apparent during internal conflicts such as this. In this way, my desire to be people first has at times led me to look past faults and failures of others on the path to helping people become who they are capable of becoming in the hope that they may one day hit a tipping point and see for themselves what was obvious to others. However, the unknown is how long that will take or if it will even happen at all. I have worked long enough to know that sometimes it does not happen and then the question becomes, “how long do I wait?”.
In this case, I allowed too much time, that was my failure, which stemmed from both my personal values and the very fabric that makes up our company. Mission-driven companies take great time and care when choosing to hire or promote someone to management. We as a company are in a way very much guarded with who we select, due in part because we value the deep connections we all share and want to see that preserved. This preservation cannot be sustained by hiring just anyone, but rather the right person who can excel in both their role and relationships with those already part of our family.
This idea, coupled with my unrelenting desire to help others become who they are capable of becoming, started to create tension with what we as a company value in how servant leadership is demonstrated. Servant leadership is best thought of as leading from the front and best demonstrated in never asking someone to do something that you yourself are not willing to do. At times this means we chose the hard decision that is in the best interest of the company but nevertheless creates internal struggle. This hard decision is best reflected in the choice to part ways with someone who is part of our company, has been for quite some time, and is still someone you believe has potential.
We must walk a path where our virtues diverge and converge. Through my own experience in walking this path, the divergence is a guarantee but so is the convergence. How we move from divergence to convergence speaks volumes to us as a leader. Providing meaning behind my decisions and creating an understanding through the demonstration of honesty and transparency is part of what integrity means to me and to us a company and community.